So you've brought your newborn home and you want to build a strong and healthy connection. How do you do this with someone so small?
Tender beginnings require tender attention. This can be achieved in the simplest of ways by addressing the basic senses. Infants are born with eyes not quite focused and hearing that still needs to learn to differentiate a lot of sounds. Smell and Taste are quite acute, however, and then there is the all-important sense of touch.
Babies need to be touched, caressed and held just as much as they need to eat and sleep. Studies and other observations have proven that preemies and other newborns who are not handled tend to lose the will to live, withering away due to lack of tactile contact. Babies need to feel connected to others. Stroking arms, legs and torso as well as their heads also helps stimulate nerve endings, increasing their awareness of their own bodies as well as the presence of their parents and other loved ones.
Cooing, talking and crooning to your baby is also recommended. The child is not only learning to recognize different voices but is developing the beginnings of their language skills. Particulars of language come later, but tone of voice is picked up immediately, so make sure that you are interacting in a soothing way. There is a wonderful scene in the movie ‘Three Men and a Baby’ where a particular character is reading a mechanic manual instead of a story book. His comment that it’s not the words used but the tone of voice that’s important is spot on correct. Soft, firm timbre is best.
Singing lullabyes in particular is a wonderful activity to build parent and child affinity. Playing recorded music can be good for baby, too, but for language advancement and especially for bonding purposes, using one's own voice has far more impact and is in many ways more stimulating. Also, don't be concerned if you can't carry a tune. The important factor here is that your child hears your voice rather than whether any particular notes are hit properly.
While their vision may still take some time to finish developing focus, seeing faces is still important. Infants find other human faces to be some of the most fascinating objects ever, especially ones that become familiar to them. Making odd faces at your baby is not only fun for you, but can provide extra stimulation for his or her eyesight and mental capacity. The newborn is learning non-verbal cues from these various expressions. And the gratification of baby’s first smile is priceless.
Taste and smell are at their most acute when people are brand new to the world. So when introducing new flavors and scents, try to keep things bland. Avoid heavy perfumes and other strong odors, as this can create a negative experience between yourself and your infant. Bonding is about creating positives. Baby will let everyone know what they do and do not like, so experimenting is fine as long as it's not overwhelming.
Overall, the factor that stands out as most important is to spend plenty of time with your child, especially during these earliest stages of life. As with any other lasting relationship, first impressions are usually the most important. Whether tickling, talking, singing or just holding them close, every precious moment with baby is time well spent. For both of you.
